(x,y,z) : a self-portraiT
I considered all the many ways in which an individual could be defined; as time, space (geographical location), physicality (body and presence), philosophy, morals and virtues, memories.
This was an exploration in conceptually shooting a non-corporal self portrait, and decidedly chose subjects that are indexical referents of my subjective experience.
This was an exploration in conceptually shooting a non-corporal self portrait, and decidedly chose subjects that are indexical referents of my subjective experience.
This sparked in my mind, an association with the notion of the ‘archive’. I consequentially looked into Taryn Simon’s work, whom has produced some archival-based series herself. One particular summary of her pieces captured my attention.
“Simon’s presentation explores the struggle to determine codes and patterns embedded in the narratives she documents, making them recognizable as variations of archetypal episodes from the present, past, and future.”
The first image is a ball of braided red hair that once was a part of me. I had shaved my head in India, for many reasons, but particularly to explore my inherited culture’s ideology that one’s hair isn’t merely a physical extension of oneself; it as seen as precious, virtuous, and part of one’s identity. My hair had been a part of me for so long, and now is just a material object I can carry, it represented to me a past version of myself, or for the case of this series, the past.
The act of shaving my head was based on cultural traditions; it is conducted to represent mourning or done as a religious offering in hopes for a fresh positive start, which were both contributing factors. Additionally it was also a custom my father had adopted and done over the years, and choosing to partake felt fitting to overcome the grief I was experiencing after his passing yet also enabled me to feel connected to him in some way.
The first image is a ball of braided red hair that once was a part of me. I had shaved my head in India, for many reasons, but particularly to explore my inherited culture’s ideology that one’s hair isn’t merely a physical extension of oneself; it as seen as precious, virtuous, and part of one’s identity. My hair had been a part of me for so long, and now is just a material object I can carry, it represented to me a past version of myself, or for the case of this series, the past.
The act of shaving my head was based on cultural traditions; it is conducted to represent mourning or done as a religious offering in hopes for a fresh positive start, which were both contributing factors. Additionally it was also a custom my father had adopted and done over the years, and choosing to partake felt fitting to overcome the grief I was experiencing after his passing yet also enabled me to feel connected to him in some way.
Simultaneously, as I was welcoming these traditions I was also subverting aspects of the same culture that, I felt had double standards regarding women as it was not encouraged for ladies to shave their hair. In fact, Indian culture often praises women with long, think hair, a physical quality that represents beauty, femininity, sexuality and fertility.
For me, this hair I carried was heavy with the memory and grief I experienced as it was the hair that was attached to me throughout the most challenging period of time of my life: choosing to remove it signified a rebirth. I had made the decision to keep it as it physically represented those memories, and that period of time. Yet I also held onto it as a symbol of my own strength, as a medal, a reminder of the journey I had to endure.
For me, this hair I carried was heavy with the memory and grief I experienced as it was the hair that was attached to me throughout the most challenging period of time of my life: choosing to remove it signified a rebirth. I had made the decision to keep it as it physically represented those memories, and that period of time. Yet I also held onto it as a symbol of my own strength, as a medal, a reminder of the journey I had to endure.
The second photograph denotes several series of negatives, a pile of 4 x 6 printed photographs, two external hard drives, and three SD camera cards, essentially a collection of all the photographs I have taken as a amateur to current status of photographer. This not only represents my personal experiences in life, development as an artist, as well as a chosen career path, yet most importantly it denotes multiple subjective “slices of time” as they were all taken in the present.
The third and final photograph depicts three leather bound journals of different colours stacked atop of one another in which I confide my thoughts, feelings, philosophies, ideas, fears and anxieties. They represent my self and identity in the most intimate of ways, whilst also documenting my curiosity and uncertainty of the future.